I suppose the title says it all whats been up with me. Starting off with better, its been a solid past few days for the most part. I haven't been craving sweets, fat, ice cream, or just food in general for the first time in like oh I don't know 2 months or so. It's been grand and I feel like I'm getting control back. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long ass ways to go to undo all this shit. And I still purge. But gosh I don't know what my problem has been lately though. Like tonight I tried to get my supper up, twice, and couldn't get shit up. I think my body just hates me now. Maybe its good so I will finally stop.
No epic binges though, wonderful runs, starting to do abs again, nice days for a change. I really wanna do some type of detox/fast perhaps. I just wanna get all this fat and yucky stuff outta my body. Start again fresh and clean. Plus I stepped on the scale again and it wasn't pretty. Like I swear my legs are starting to get...well there not getting fatter to say the least. I think its because of all the running. But like I don't know where all this fat is getting stored. Probably in my boobs, there getting bigger and I do not like it. Pretty sure that makes me weird. Just saying.
Today I saw that someone said this and I quote "I hate when girls say there fat and there not! its like get over yourself you look fine! gezz.." I kinda wanted to punch her in the face. I don't know, do I need to say more? Ya know what I mean? Fuck the only and I mean ONLY bitches that say this is the skinny girls that can eat and eat and never ever gain a pound. Idk I just can't put into words how angry/irritated/sad/pissed that makes me.
Anyhow Sunday my family and myself went out to brunch because it was my little brothers last Sunday home before he heads off to college (tear:( such a big boy now). Sooo first off, it kinda sucked food wise there but wanna know what really sucked? My friend that hates me was freaking hosting. I haven't seen her/talked to her since so can you say awkward when we walked in. Like I could feel the awkwardness around us. Then later that night I went for a run around the park like usual may I add and guess who I see playing volleyball. Yes, her again with all her co-workers which includes the boy that made her hate me. Then tonight I went running and they were all there again! Fuck me! Don't these people ever fucking work? Jesus. I just hope no one noticed me (aka those two). I'm gonna be pissed if there all there tomorrow night. That's my park damn it.
As a last and final note my boss just loves to make me work and I only have 2 days off between now (well it actually started Saturday) and the 31st. So I apologize in advance for not being around. I'm just always so tried afterwards. So see ya around maybe? Idk we shall see.